What is not is

A self-contradictory phrase, if there ever was one! How can something that is fresh be frozen, or vice versa? But in an effort to get people to buy frozen products (because really fresh ones are scarce and expensive), retailers, with the backing of the Singapore government, has turned vocabulary on its head.

Bread Talks

A foreigner reading this sign will be puzzled by Singapore's much vaunted educational standards. The sign reads deceptively correct, but students of English grammar will cringe. We never write that there is 1 bread or 2 breads, rather we write "1 loaf of bread or 2 loaves" of bread. However, in case of smaller items of bread such as buns, we do write, "1 bun or 2 buns". Remember 'Hot cross Buns'? Breads is used when you write 'types of breads', not otherwise.

Of course, practical people couldn't care less about the finer points of grammar. They understand what the sign means - a good bargain - and that's all they need to know, proper grammar notwithstanding.

p.s. I have written before, elsewhere, on this same subject, if you are interested, that is.

Read the rules

What is this? A government department or office? That's usually where signboards like these appear.

But no, this is in a Foodcourt run by Kopitiam.

Sometimes, I wonder if anybody reads all those rules displayed in front of a Kopitiam outlet's Card Top-up counter. If nobody reads it, why display it? To protect Kopitiam's behind in case of a dispute, I guess. In any case, its looks intimidating.

Eye for an eye

Gee, grandma, what long eyelashes you have.

The better to hoodwink you, my child.

I starred and starred and starred.

But she didn't look up.

So I snapped this.

Care with kids

There are many Childcare Centres in Singapore, primarily because society, lifestyle and the government want both parents to be economically active. That often means placing the child's care into 3rd party care. But I doubt anyone looking for 3-party Childcare would be enthusiastic about this one.