Sufferer

Why not just write "Suffered from" instead of "Ex-sufferer of". It goes well with the next sentence. Maybe the people at this hair restoration place (or the copywriter whom they engaged) could also do with some language restoration?

Dud Discounts

This looked too good to be true, and even before the Great Singapore Sale! Guess what, it was too good to be true. I hauled 5 items to the counter and was told that only 1 of the items qualified for the 25% discount. The rest? Pony up the list prices. Retailers are abusing the phrase "storewide discounts". How can 20% of the items in my basket that qualifies for discounts be considered "storewide"?

What a fake.

Lemonade

First, there was the issue of the pronunciation of Esplanade. I would pronounce it 'Es-ple-nard' but the guardians of good Singapore English would have it pronounced as 'Es-ple-nade' as in 'm-ade'. But then, if you listen to the news on the official TV channels, Promenade is pronounced 'pro-mi-nard' and not 'pro-mi-nade'. Talk about being schizophrenic. It just doesn't stop there. Now even language translations show elements of schizoid syndrome that plagues Singapore's officialdom.

With this kind of public display of linguistic ambiguity, who needs good English?

Challenging Language

Tell me what you make of the first sentence and I'll give you a prize.

What is not is

A self-contradictory phrase, if there ever was one! How can something that is fresh be frozen, or vice versa? But in an effort to get people to buy frozen products (because really fresh ones are scarce and expensive), retailers, with the backing of the Singapore government, has turned vocabulary on its head.

Bread Talks

A foreigner reading this sign will be puzzled by Singapore's much vaunted educational standards. The sign reads deceptively correct, but students of English grammar will cringe. We never write that there is 1 bread or 2 breads, rather we write "1 loaf of bread or 2 loaves" of bread. However, in case of smaller items of bread such as buns, we do write, "1 bun or 2 buns". Remember 'Hot cross Buns'? Breads is used when you write 'types of breads', not otherwise.

Of course, practical people couldn't care less about the finer points of grammar. They understand what the sign means - a good bargain - and that's all they need to know, proper grammar notwithstanding.

p.s. I have written before, elsewhere, on this same subject, if you are interested, that is.

Care with kids

There are many Childcare Centres in Singapore, primarily because society, lifestyle and the government want both parents to be economically active. That often means placing the child's care into 3rd party care. But I doubt anyone looking for 3-party Childcare would be enthusiastic about this one.

English as is it broken

Broken English is becoming common place on this lsland, especially in the restaurant business environment. This is all the more shocking because Singapore has a law that compels every child to undergo at least 6 years' of Primary education. And the primary language of instruction (i.e. the first language) is English. So after all that stringent instruction and learning, we still get broken English proudly displayed in public. Are taxpayers wasting their money on education?

Well, the sign shows that this restaurant needs to improve in more ways than one.

Three of the best

Vandals are like cockroaches. No matter how many you kill and no matter how much Baygon poison pads you lay around, somehow, they survive to roam another day, much to your despair. Vandals are like cockroaches too. They just don't go away, even after Michael Fay was given three of the best some 10 years ago in Singapore. I suppose somebody's behind is itching to be given another 3 of the best.

Beware - language contains expletives and may not be suitable for all people except vandals.


This picture shows the back of an SBS Transit bus seat

Keep or throw?

I would like to know what indisposable or non-disposable toothpicks look like. Here is a picture of disposable ones: